World War III, hot and cold, lasted from...
Hold.
Female.
Rover pack has her, 125 yards.
Solo, waiting to move in, 75 yards.
No!
Keep away from me!
Help!
Maniacs! Stop it!
Help! No!
No!
- Say it again! - No!
Say that again, you bitch!
Hey, did you see her jerk when I cut her?
Hold, one more.
You're still constantly overreacting.
I've absolutely no idea how I've managed to keep you alive so long.
I wouldn't bother going down in there, unless your taste has changed radically.
They left an ugly mess.
- I said they left a mess! - I heard you.
Pearls before swine.
All my directives go completely unregarded.
Sometimes you're just as ignorant as any other common rover.
One indication of a female alone and it's caution to the wind,
the eyes glaze, the glands swell, and the brain freezes.
I can't see a thing in there. Smell it!
I thought you were doing all the scouting today, Vic.
Damn it Blood, don't give me a hard time, smell it!
It's clean.
Ain't that a shame.
Hell, they didn't have to cut her.
She could have been used three or more times.
War is hell.
All right. Run it again.
You're so funny when you're sexually frustrated.
I'm funny enough to kick you upside the butt!
I said find, and I ain't kidding.
One does not say ain't, Albert. Simply say I'm not kidding.
Fine, dog meat. And stop calling me Albert.
And you would stone a poor defenseless animal, wouldn't you?
Yes, I can tell that would. I can tell by your short breath
and your disgusting aggressive behavior that you would.
And that's because you're not a nice person, Albert.
You're not a nice person at all.
Do I gawk at you when you're working?
I'll locate a female if there is one.
You go look for food.
I detect no living female person within my range, sir.
I have sniffed and I have cast and I have a negative reading.
However I'd be delighted to tell you a suggestive story,
if you think that would help.
Pass, fuzzy-butt.
A cautious young fella named Lodge
had seatbelts installed in his Dodge.
When his date was strapped in,
he committed a sin without even leaving the garage.
That's clever, isn't it?
Let's see, from March 1953 to June...
Albert, you have all the cranial capacity of a canary.
Now, I'm going to recount these events
of historical significance once again.
Now, please, please try to assimilate them this time.
World War III, hot and cold,
lasted from June 1950 to March 1983,
when the Vatican armistice was signed between the Eastern and Western blocs,
a total of 33 years.
Is this too fast for you?
- No, I'm right with you. - Oh, good.
Now World War IV lasted five days,
just long enough for the final missiles to leave their silos on both sides.
What's left here where once were homes and families with warm hearths...
Come on, teats! Would you get off my back, you mad dog?
Now only desolation,
civilization lies smothered and decaying under an ocean of mud,
belonging to anyone who's strong enough
to dig and fight and take it for his own.
God, that's dramatic, I like that.
So, spread about us, the city of Phoenix, Arizona,
where in 2006, 18-odd years ago, you managed
to come into the world and we became associates.
Now, let's hear that back.
Now let's run through the modern presidents.
What good's all this history crap gonna do me?
Just do the Presidents.
Oh, God.
- Eisenhower, Truman... - Truman, Eisenhower.
Truman, Eisenhower...
Kennedy... Johnson...
Nixon... Ford...
Kennedy... Kennedy... Kennedy...
Your continued narrow-minded refusal to believe in Over The Hill
is possibly costing us a better life, you know.
Over The Hill, my ass.
Well, when do we start looking for it again?
- Soon as I get my heart started. - I mean let's stop the crap.
I know what you mean: Over the Hill, where the deer and the antelope play
and it's warm and clean and we can relax and have fun.
Man, they grow food right out of the ground.
- How do like that pipe dream? - It's called farming.
Oh, I believe you.
And they also have a great crop of clothes and guns and gorgeous chicks.
You're gonna tell me how you saw
the whole wonderful thing with your baby blues.
Never said I saw it, I said I heard about it.
And from who?
From whom, and you know from whom.
And whom the hell's gonna believe a police dog?
I'm sorry, Blood.
I believe you about Over the Hill. Hell, I believe anything you tell me.
And even if we don't know for sure, it's worth checking on, right?
- Right? - Whatever you say.
And we will go, just like I promised.
Right now I'm hungry and I wanna get laid.
So find me a broad, and we'll go to the promised land.
That's what you always say.
I know, I know, but I mean it this time.
Find me a chick and we'll go.
I'm hungry.
So am I!
I tell you what. You go find a chick, and I'll hustle us up some food.
I'm hungry.
You already said that, god damn it, and I just said...
I can't do good work when I'm hungry.
You ain't pulling that crap on me again!
And you can shove that part about how you lost the ability
to hunt for food when you learned how to talk!
Oh, hell, all you're good for is finding hard, stringy scumbags
that are just liable to cut off my goddamn...
No food, no females.
Okay, you just sit there on your fluffy butt
while I do all the goddamn work!
But I'll tell you one goddamn thing, you better do some practicing.
It's been six weeks since I been laid,
and it sure as hell ain't been that long since you ate.
By God, it damn well may be if you don't start producing.
Here, right! Here, right!
Heave! Heave away!
Pull! Pull!
Hey, there, pull on that line! Pull on it, there!
Get out there! Dig!
Dig, you suckers! Get that dirt outta there.
Must be something special. They got the whole bunch.
You get up and get in that hole. Get up!
You get yourself up, or you ain't never gonna get up!
How'd Fellini know there'd be a house here?
'Cause he's smarter, that's how!
Wonder why they hang around him?
Probably just charisma.
Hey, there!
You dig.
Move your foot if you don't want any...!
Hey, watch were you throw that crap!
Dig!
Hey!
Play!
Play "Melancholy Baby"!
God, I wish he'd tune that.
Well?
I don't know. Checked out Cracker Jack to here.
Think he just might do.
Maybe.
- Get that out of there. - Look at that!
Keep your hands off of that. Now get away from there.
Look at all that food.
- I'll knock your stupid head in. - You and who else?
Just me!
Boy!
I need shoes! Anybody see some shoes?
Dig! Dig, you pigs! Get down in there and dig.
This place ought to be loaded. Get it out of there.
Might work.
We'll wait like we always do.
To hell with waiting.
Vic, come back here!
Get away from here!
Help! He's takin' our bag!
Help, help, help, help!
Get back down in here, you idiots, get back in here.
- Leave him go. - We got him, didn't we, Blood?
Oh, shut up and keep running!
At least he's got some guts. Now, dig in there!
Get out of there and guard that wagon.
- Now watch him take it out on us! - Run, boy!
Come back any time, though.
Dig, you suckers!
That's our boy. Put out the cheese.
What do you want to do tonight?
Oh, doesn't really matter to me.
Whatever you'd like to do, Albert... Vic.
Well, now that we're loaded, I guess we could hit The Turf.
Yes, we could do that.
- Well, if you'd rather not. - Oh, no, no, no, that'd be fine.
We could probably even afford a little pop... popcorn.
Mat's good for the rifle. Put it in the water there.
They're getting wet there, move them over. Goes to rust fast.
Move on along.
You money-grabbing toad, you move my stuff over!
Move his heat. We don't want no trouble tonight.
If it picks up one rust spot,
you're going to wake up with a crowd around you.
- Sardines... - We could use some!
- What about the mutt? - He ain't no mutt.
You wanna see the movies or don't you?
Peaches.
How the hell am I supposed to know that?
You can read, can't you?
Peaches for the dog.
Beets are better for him anyway.
Seen a screamer 'bout a mile out.
Which way's he headed?
Think I'd stick around to find out? I said screamers.
- I want popcorn. - Pass.
- You said we'd get some. - You said.
Come on, Albert, buy me some popcorn.
I'm tapped. You can live without it.
You're just being an ass.
You remember that next time you want to call me Albert.
I hope the next time you play with yourself, you go blind.
Come on, let's sit down front.
Sit down!
Get your ass over there, I want to sit here.
How can you enjoy a show without popcorn?
All right, tightwad, watch the master at work.
Charity is a thing of the past.
Say, Mark, you got a grease rag handy?
He shot my brother, we all know that!
Now, about my brother!
He just got here! He's right over there!
We can't have that lunatic runnin' loose, I tell you!
Now, how 'bout that, men?
Sheriff doesn't come, I don't know what he'll do.
There's a female in here.
You're nuts.
I tell you, she's in here.
Where?
Where is she?
Wait a minute.
Come on out here. I want to talk to you.
Lying egg sucker, I ought to kick your tail up around your ears.
Expect me to believe that you can whiff her
when there ain't no other dog in the whole joint that's caught her yet?
Now you forget my infallibility, Albert, that's foolish.
No I didn't forget, I just don't believe it.
Where is she?
Knock it off!
How the hell can I see the picture?
- Get 'em out of here! - Sic the dogs on 'em!
Turn up the sound!
Okay, all right, I was dumb.
You taught me all I know. I believe everything you say.
That wasn't her, was it?
Come on. She might get away.
I'll buy you the popcorn.
Bottom line, you're a brain with an educated nose
and there's no other canine in your class.
She's dressed like a solo, wearing a knit cap.
Where's the kid?
He's spending the night with Johnny Lambert.
Oh, please, take me now.
Come on, get up. Not yet, guys.
Damn it, Johnny, try!
Look what I found.
Okay? Which way'd she go?
To the right.
Come on.
That's it for tonight. Shut her down.
That stupid broad.
She's in there where the screamers hole up.
They're not in there now. She's alone.
Screamers.
Damn it.
How in the hell am I going to nail her in there?
Simple. Stop shaking like a leaf and go do it.
You sure it's clean?
Albert, have I ever lied to you?
I'm gonna go over there, and I'm gonna get one of them mats.
You make one move off there and I'll shoot your leg right out from under you,
and you'll still get it except you'll be without a leg.
Well, what are you looking at?
What's your name?
- Vic. - Vic what?
Just Vic.
Then what are your mother and father's names?
Boy, are you a dumb broad.
I told you to stop looking at me like that or I'll bust your teeth out.
Now get that stuff off.
What's your name?
Quilla June Holmes.
That's a weird name.
It's not. My mother says it's not that unusual back in Oklahoma.
That where your folks come from?
Before the war.
They must be pretty old by now.
They are, but they're okay, I guess.
Guess we'd better...
- Now what? - Rover pack. Twenty-three strong.
They got the building surrounded.
Great, some other mutt must have smelled her in the theater.
Who are you talking to?
- Him. - The dog?
Give them the girl.
We dig in and stand them off.
They don't know about us. Just give 'em the girl, let's get outta here.
We stay. Now you got any helpful suggestions?
Yes, pull up your pants, Romeo.
Now would you listen to reason?
There's too many of them for us. You're gonna get us all shot up.
Damn fool!
One way out of here. Boxed in, that's no good.
Out there in the big room, that's the place.
Oh, Jesus. They'll probably come down the ladder.
What's the matter, don't you talk to strangers?
Shut up will you! I can see it.
Do you understand me?
If we can take one down and get his heat...
- I'm not gonna hurt you. - Shut up!
Lovely odds we're up against, aren't they?
You were right. Let's set up for them.
And I'm right about this simpering female.
Forget that. Now, how do you figure the fight?
You would too, if you figured to stir screamers.
Go on, we'll back ya'!
Over there!
Hey!
He's moving again!
Get off me! Get away!
Where'd she go?
Good or bad first?
Bad.
All right, they didn't come down the ladder as I anticipated,
and since they found other ways in, we've lost the element of surprise.
There's no way we can handle them.
And the good?
Let the seven dwarfs have Snow White
and we can get out of here with all our parts.
Over my dead body.
They're working on that right now.
- Screamers. - Where? I don't hear 'em.
Now, what would everyone do if they heard one right now?
Run like a sonofabitch.
It's worth a try.
Screamer!
You hear that?
Screamers!
Go on, damn it, get out of the way!
Make certain they've gone, Vic. Don't stick your empty head out, Vic.
Hey, easy...
Will you shut her up? I can't hear myself think.
Get something green. Get her skirt.
Wrap it around a stick and wave it up there.
Shine her flashlight up through it.
Have they gone?
What do you see?
They are whipped!
We did it!
I'd have given a whole sack full of potatoes
to see the look on their faces when they ran!
Hey, Blood we did it, we did it!
Come on, let's get the hell out of here.
They might still be out there. Just pull back a little.
Wait till daylight, then we'll see.
Okay. Well, I'll take the chick in.
She's right below us.
You stupid nit! You wanna run into one of 'em?
You think I'm bad? Well you wait till you see one of them.
What are they?
I don't know.
I just know you stay away from them.
What?
Easy.
'Cause if one of 'em touches you, you're dead, green dead.
The real thing! Move!
- Come on. - Where are you?
By the boiler. The insulation might help.
Where are we going, Vic. What is it? Why are we...?
Shut up, and hang on to me.
Hurry it up.
Help me up there.
Yes, this'll do.
Clumsy.
I wonder how many mattresses are in here.
Screamers certainly wouldn't want to be confined.
Albert! Tell this to keep its hands to itself!
Maybe somebody else hid in here.
Get yer...
Oh, well, somewhat of a weak call I bet.
- Catch anything yet? - We're all right so far.
You be able to tell when they leave?
Yes, I'll be able to tell.
If they leave.
Just take it easy. Everything's going to be all right.
That is, if we don't get choked off in here.
Can you handle it?
Oh, yes, Massa Vic, I can handle it.
Breeding is an ugly thing.
Long enough for the final missiles to leave their silos on both sides.
Let's see. That was in 2006.
2007.
2007. It only lasted 5 days.
You're awfully smart to know all that history.
Well, Blood helps... a little.
Haven't you ever been down under?
- Nope. - Why?
- It's very nice. - I heard how nice.
From a solo who raided one.
Well, it's very nice, and you'd like it.
- Bullshit! - That's very crude.
I'm very crude.
Not all the time.
Listen, ass, I grabbed you and I drug you down here.
So what's so good about me?
I didn't mind. I liked it.
You want to do it again?
Well, I've never seen no... no chick like you before!
Hey, I'm the... I'm the one that's supposed to wanna... do it.
Once more into the breech, dear friend.
Copula: Something that connects.
Copulate: From the Latin copulatus, to engage in...
Honey, it's good to just watch you.
Your waist falls in.
And your hips out, to have you right in my hands.
Just want to talk.
I'm not going to keep pretending I am asleep, Albert.
Oh, boy, you're a bloody mess.
Well, you're not exactly a rose garden yourself.
We'll get out of here yet.
Seems clear. I'd better go have a look.
Think you can... think you can handle it in your condition?
Can I handle it in my condition?
I can handle several hours on the rack
to extricate myself from this disgusting display.
Blood!
No sacrifice is too great.
No, I throw myself gladly into the very jaws
of the screaming, grim death.
I don't think he likes me very much.
- Blood? - Yeah.
He... he just feels bad. He likes you a lot.
- He told me so. - He did really?
That's nice, 'cause I... I think he's cute.
How do you do it?
- What? - Talk to him.
I don't know, I never thought about it.
Just talk.
Well, how come I can't hear him?
He said something one time.
It's 'cause we had a feeling for each other or something.
What do you mean, like love?
I guess.
I don't know.
He said we thought alike.
I don't know.
Well, anyway...
We'll get a nice little place...
and we'll spend a lot of time together alone...
and we'll do whatever we feel like doing,
and when Blood comes to visit, he can have his own room.
What are you talking about?
Well, I don't exactly think he's going to fit in Down Under.
No way!
I know, that's what I said.
No, I mean, no way I'm going down there.
Why?
I'm going to be there.
No, you're not.
We'll make it up here, the three of us.
Vic, now I live there.
- If you love me... - I don't care!
Come out here right now.
Vic, we need to talk.
What the hell's lumbering you?
Your headlong plunge into stupidity.
Last night was inexcusable.
Leaving her for the pack, that would have been the intelligent thing to do!
I wanted her.
Yeah, I know you wanted her about half a hundred times.
And why we still hanging around?
I want her some more!
Well, listen, my friend, I want to get rid of this pain in my side
and I want to get away from here.
The screamers could come back any time, you know.
What the hell you worried about that for?
We can handle all that.
That don't mean she can't go with us.
Go with us? Are you out of your small mind?
What good is she? It's all we can do to feed ourselves, as it is.
You know, you're starting to sound like a goddamn poodle!
And you're starting to sound like a jackass.
Sorry.
Oh, Blood, come on.
Hey, man.
It'll still be 50/50 with you and me. I mean, hell, I owe you.
Don't try that hackneyed ruse on me.
Oh, come on, I just meant like that time that...
that old screamer made a grab for me.
You know, that righteous tone green he was too,
all glowing like a fungus, and oozing and eyelashes...
Boy.
Made a grab for me, and you went for him.
Could have been burned bad, too, I'll tell you that,
and died.
That'd have been all of it for you, right?
Now get that dramatic catch out of your voice and tell me
how she's gonna carry her share of the load up here.
Tell me how we're gonna fight off...
All right, okay, okay, just don't hang her.
Harangue, not hang her.
I don't care whatever the hell it is, just knock off the crap
or we can forget the whole stinkin' arrangement.
Well, maybe we should, you simple, dumb putz.
What the hell's a putz? What's a putz?
Is that something bad? I'll bet it is. It's something bad.
I'll tell you, you better watch your stinking mouth
or I'm going to kick you in the butt!
Definitely a putz.
"Don't mean she can't go with us."
I told she was no good.
Okay, okay.
I just don't like being made to feel guilty.
I'm gonna do right by you.
I'd highly recommend that,
considering there are several very knowledgeable solos around town
who'd be delighted to work
with an accomplished female provider like myself.
I also don't like being threatened!
It's not a threat, that's a fact.
No, that's a good way to get that other leg broke.
Don't take your petty frustrations out on me, Albert.
I locate females, I don't guarantee their behavior.
- What the hell's that? - How should I know?
Well, smell it!
It's probably ID of some kind she used to get out of the Down Under.
Now we're in a big hurry.
Now, if you'd listened to me last night instead of...
Wait a minute.
You're not thinking of following that...
You... you listen to me, Albert!
You... you'll get killed out there!
Albert. Albert. You come back here!
You idiot, you can't go down there. You listen to me.
Just because some stinking female
knocked you in the head and bruised your ego,
there's no reason to become a careless juvenile.
You stop this instant, Albert!
- Vic. Egg-sucker. - All right. Vic, please, now...
Please stop a minute, please.
I don't know what to say, how to make you understand.
You're not... you're not thinking clearly.
You can't go down there and... and ever hope to come back,
and she knows it.
Down Unders hate solos.
Enough rover packs have raided down there
and raped their women and stolen their food,
and they'll have their defenses up and catch you and kill you.
What the hell do you care?
Always saying you'd be better of without me, anyway.
Forget about her, Vic. Let her go.
Let's... let's look for Over the Hill, or...
If you're tired of me, find another partner somewhere,
but whatever you do, don't follow her down there.
I got to, Blood.
I got to.
Hasn't occurred to you how convenient this whole operation has been?
How easy she was to spot and follow, and how she cooperated?
Just think about it, Vic, instead of walking right into their hands.
God knows what they'll do with you.
We've been together long time, good and bad, but...
this could be the worst. I'm scared.
I'm scared you won't come back
and I'll have to find some rover to take me on.
You know most rovers are in packs now,
and I'm not that young anymore.
And I'll miss you, Vic.
I'll really miss you.
Well...
Try to get back as quick as I can.
Will you wait?
For a while, then Over the Hill.
Take care of yourself.
Do my best.
I'll catch up with you.
Sure.
So long...
partner.
And with these terrifying sounds of primeval savagery,
we close the Committee's presentation
of sound tours into the past.
Today, chapter 3: Africa, the dark continent.
Tomorrow, chapter 4: Alaska.
Michael, yellow reference, a malfunction.
Level 10, op section 6.
Repeat, yellow reference.
"We often despise what is most useful to us."
Another helpful hint
from the Committee's almanac.
"The town is the tear of the man."
Another helpful hint for living, from the Committee's almanac.
It is exactly 10 a.m. On this Wednesday,
June 29, Year of Our Lord one-aught-three.
The Committee has decided...
May I have the chicken salad, please?
Excuse me, please. A little mustard.
Thank you.
The Committee,
sitting in Awards and Punishments session,
committed to all; Attendance discretionary.
One hour.
Repeat: One hour.
Be it resolved therefore that Mrs. Eunice Long
has been declared the blue ribbon winner
of the annual Topeka canning festival,
and that throughout the Year of Our Lord one-aught-three,
all preserved peaches, be they canned and/or jarred,
shall bear her likeness and the inscription "Topeka Queen."
Michael, green reference.
Hydroponic laboratory, number 173.
Fanny and Jurdan MacBurnatt.
Saturation of nutrient solution.
Repeat: Green reference.
This is the best the architects could do.
Pencil.
Why are they here?
Lack of respect. Wrong attitude.
Failure to obey authority.
- Lectures? - Three.
- Cut-and-dry, then. - I'd say so.
That'll do it.
Fanny and Jurdan MacBurnatt.
Any reason to be easy?
Look, when we...
put this in,
see, then we'll add that.
We find it almost impossible to believe
that you have ignored several warnings by us to conform
to the rules that are vital to the continued growth and well-being
of our beloved Topeka, but you did.
Defiance of this Committee,
duly elected and ordained by the people, will not be tolerated.
The Farm, both of 'em.
Now how'd the last farms go, Mez?
Cancer, I think. No, no, no.
Let me see.
I have it down here.
Let's see. Oh, no, it was an accident with farm machinery,
that's what it was.
Larry and Linda Lacey, March 17 of this year.
Let's make these... heart attacks.
Yeah, grief from the Committee.
Doc'll do the eulogy.
Services at Lakeside Methodist, the usual.
And may God have mercy on your souls.
Now that's the way to build a cotton gin.
Quilla June!
Honey! Come to papa.
Sure is pleasing to see you back home again.
Didn't have any trouble? Everything went all right.
- Didn't have any trouble? - No, sir.
That's fine, fine.
Sure did yourself proud, missy.
The Committee won't forget it, no siree!
Then I'll be put on the Committee right away, like we talked about.
Don't you worry about it, little girl, soon as there's an opening.
Mr. Craddock, I would prefer not to wait.
After all, I did bring Vic down here exactly like you told me to.
Now you just be patient, Quilla June.
Have fun with the young folks your own age.
Think about getting married, making a home.
Your time will come.
I'd rather be just like you, Miss Mez.
And not wait.
Don't you worry, little girl.
- I don't see why you just... - That'll be all, that'll be all.
That young lady's going to be trouble.
Always has been. Any reason for her to change?
Maybe you should have gone to three.
Little childish plotting doesn't bother me none.
Long as it stays little.
Mez...
see that she's one of the recipients.
Then marry her off to Hiram and Edna's boy. What's his name?
- Charles. - Charlie, yeah.
If that don't cool her ambitions, farm her out.
Horse manure.
He knew I wanted on that Committee.
Stupid, stinkin' old rotter, Lou!
I am bristling!
That is the only reason I went along with their dumb plan.
America, the land of plenty, was the world's greatest agricultural...
- They promised me. - Promised?
Capable not only of feeding its own hardworking...
Well, they hinted.
Then they tried to shoo me off without a by-your-leave, so I pushed.
Well, you shouldn't have.
I mean, they're gonna be watching us now.
Gery, I don't care. I am so sick and tired...
The Farm.
The poor, who accepted our Christian desire
to aid our brothers across the seas...
You're right.
I do care.
Okay.
I'm going to smile,
and I'm going to curtsy the right time to all the right people,
'cause it ain't going to be much longer.
The Psalms of David will not wait even for you, Quilla June Holmes.
- That is your class... - Yes, Mrs. Cammock.
Old pigeon feet.
I'm sorry. I'll be right there, ma'am.
See you later.
He and Vic were in the park together, I turned my back for just a sec...
What'd you and Vic talk about?
- Come on, we want to know. - Well, Lou.
He's still a little confused.
Yeah, good.
Now, how about it boy?
I mean, we're gonna find out anyway, so... why don't you just tell us
and it'll make it easier on all of us?
What do you say?
How about it boy?
The Farm, immediately.
Grandmother's Conrad's recipe for rhubarb marmalade.
Let me go!
Orange juice and lemon juice...
What did the exam show?
Well, the usual cold virus.
A little high blood pressure, to be expected under these conditions.
There no infection. He's well developed, reasonably well nourished.
Intelligent average. Emotional responses simplistic.
Most marked finding is his overtly aggressive behavior.
In other words, he's extremely physical,
as you may have noticed.
- Well, now son. - Suck wind, wet brain.
Better be nice, boy.
I hope all your stinking kids are harelipped.
- Michael. - All right.
Better behave yourself.
Along with many other organisms...
that somehow managed to stay alive up above,
you have been studied, observed.
Unobtrusively, of course.
Living habits, common sense,
tenacity, physical prowess.
Out of the many,
you have been chosen...
led down here by...
Quilla June!
To be the recipient of an honor...
You know, she's a scumbag!
Watch your foul mouth, boy.
When anybody on the Committee speaks,
you just keep still and listen.
Hey, how would like to have a rifle rammed up your butt?
- Michael! - All right, all right!
You show respect, boy.
As I was saying.
To be the recipient of an honor that occurs but once
in several decades.
Now, Mez...
let me have the original Elders Proclamation, will you?
"The fruit of your loins will enable the productive citizenry of Topeka"
"to overcome metabolic changes resulting from"
lengthy subterranean living,
"allow it to keep its leadership in the drive
to remake this sinful world in God's own image."
See, we've been underground too long.
Our woman can't get pregnant.
Every once in a while, we need new blood.
We... need a new man.
"We are never so happy, nor so unhappy...
- A new man. - "As we imagine."
Another helpful hint for living, from the Committee's almanac.
Special kind of man.
You mean you want me to knock up your broads?
You talked me into it. Line 'em up!
You first, honey.
Take your hands off me!
Guide them together, we beseech thee,
in the way of righteousness and peace that
loving and serving thee
with one heart and mind all the days of their life,
they may be abundantly enriched with the tokens of
thy everlasting favor. Amen.
By authority vested in me by the Committee,
I hereby pronounce you husband and wife,
According to the ordinances and the laws of the State of Topeka.
What God has joined together, let no man put asunder.
Amen.
"A man should never be ashamed to own
"he has been in the wrong,
"which is but saying that he is wiser today
than he was yesterday."
Another helpful hint for living from the Committee's almanac.
Mez, you wouldn't have a little something to help a well-used throat?
And be sure to get both parents to sign right here.
Now, let's see Brother Hexler.
Michael, amber reference.
Air intake fan number 12, shaft 17B
indicates heat buildup.
Repeat: Amber reference.
Chapter One, verse twenty-two, Mayor.
God blessed them and said be fruitful and multiply.
God blessed them and lets them be.
You almost asked yourself out of this honor, young lady.
Sir?
The Committee.
Oh, well, I'm sure the Committee knows best.
Where are your parents?
Miss Mez said it would be all right.
They must have come down with something,
'cause they're sure not feeling well.
Shall we keep the schedule? Dearly beloved...
Brother Hexler.
Dearly beloved, we are gathered here to see...
Vic, I'm so sorry. Are you all right?
They made me do it. You gotta understand, they made me do it.
They started it.
Don't you give me that "I'm sorry" bullshit.
You're as crazy as the rest of these damn nuts.
Keep your voice down!
They may be stupid, but they're not dumb like you.
Oh, no? They bring me down here to make babies
and then hook me up to this stupid machine? That's real smart.
Population control, Vic, in case you haven't heard of it.
Thirty-five girls are impregnated
and then you are killed, you understand?
We don't have idiots like you running around the place.
So you wiggled your little butt...
and teased me down here to their big wealth.
I had to! They said kill me if I didn't. Listen!
Next. Next, please.
No, ladies, I want you to be sure to put your name here.
His name goes here.
And there's another thing I want you to make very sure of
on this most solemn and joyous...
I'm gonna run Topeka.
You and me.
Maybe some others.
We'll be the Committee.
Do anything we want, any time we want.
We'll have them bow and scrape for a change.
Just by springing me?
Yeah, and getting rid of the Committee.
Okay, where's my heat?
What?
My guns, where's my guns?
In the Committee office.
How you got it figured?
Okay.
Right out this door to the right is Michael.
There's a crowd there. If we run through the crowd,
they'll come unglued, and right to the right again,
big doors... through the doors, we have help outside.
Don't panic.
Get out of the way! Get out of the way, you fools!
God damn it.
Another helpful hint for living from the Committee's almanac.
The guns are to the right.
Come on, what happened?
Well, how'd it come out?
They folded, like I said they would.
Hey, listen, Michael's got to be first.
And Jeb, not Wilson, or we're all in trouble.
And then the faint thunder became an uproar.
The winds changed to a great vibration of air.
Then Lou, then Mez.
Then Doc. But kill Lou first, 'cause he's the important one.
Where you going? The church is this way.
Hey, we got to get them when they're together.
- Where you going? - I'm getting the hell out of here.
I want to see Blood again.
I want to get in a good, straightforward fight
with some sonofabitch over a can of beans.
I gotta get back in the dirt so I feel clean!
Wait a minute. Helping you has put us out into the open.
- You've got to help us. - Good luck, baby.
Vic, please. You dirty, filthy, stinking, rotten animal!
You stupid animal!
You think I'd let you slobber all over me
and paw me so's you could walk out now?
I didn't bring you down here so they could use you.
I brought you down here so I could use you.
Now, you better kill them, then I don't care what you do!
Please! No, don't! Please don't!
Please help me! I love you, I love you!
I only said that because you were going to leave me.
Please, Vic!
12-inch skillets, preferably of the non-stick variety.
Fry the bacon until brown, but not too crisp,
then set it aside to drain.
Pour off all but two tablespoons...
I don't understand you.
All you can think about is going back up there, and about your dog.
It's like all the time we spent together didn't mean anything to you.
Vic, I don't see what's wrong with staying down here
and running the Committee.
Add the corned beef...
There they are. Kill them, Vic, and everything down here is ours.
Two tablespoons of chopped parsley and add cream.
You'd be given plenty of food, fools to kick around.
We can do whatever we please!
And add salt and freshly ground pepper to taste...
Kill them, Vic, now.
Red reference.
Repeat: Red... red reference.
For us.
The Committee.
- Do it! - The Committee...
sitting in extraordinary session,
11:37 a.m.,
July 4, Year of Our Lord one-aught-three,
all present.
Bestow upon the Committee, thy servants of the seal,
thine approval and thy fatherly benediction,
granting unto them grace to fulfill with pure and steadfast affection
the ordinances and the laws of the State of Topeka.
Amen.
You have ignored several warnings by us
informed of the rules that are vital
to the continued growth and well-being of our beloved Topeka.
And ordained by the people cannot be tolerated.
- Quilla June. - Quilla June Holmes.
Number 2,644.
Lack of respect, wrong attitude, failure to obey authority.
How say you one and all?
- Aye. - Aye.
- The Farm, immediately.
Gery.
Gery Leroy Franklin, number 2,598.
Lack of respect, wrong attitude, failure to obey authority.
How say you one and all?
- Aye. - Aye.
The Farm, immediately.
Richard.
Number 2,601.
All right.
Vic, I'll show you the way out. Let's get out of here.
- Vic. - The Farm, immediately.
I'll show you the way out. All right, I'll show you the way out.
- Kenneth. - Please, let's just get out of here.
I'll take care of you and Blood.
I'll do anything you want to do.
Vic, remember in the boiler room?
Wrong attitude, failure to obey authority.
How say you one and all?
Aye.
First thing that boy's ever done.
A shame.
Vic, please, let's get out of here.
Same. Farm. Immediately.
And may God have mercy on your soul.
Heat the bacon fat reserved in the skillet.
Add the hash, and with a spatula, spread evenly...
Cook uncovered over moderate heat
for 35 to 40 minutes,
scraping the pan occasionally to prevent the hash from sticking.
As it cooks, remove any excess fat
from the top and sides of the pan with a spoon or bulb baster.
Kill him! Oh, please, kill him!
Vic, kill him!
Number two-six-aught-one, and Gery Leroy Franklin...
Let's get on with it. Jack?
Of the 35 proposed recipients, 10 have been serviced.
We need another donor, of course.
What's wrong? Why don't you kill him, Vic?
Put the search program back in effect.
Scratch the boy's name. Concentrate on the rest of the list.
Whichever one we pick, make sure we have better security.
Then place a large round platter over the skillet
and, gripping platter and skillet firmly together...
Stop him, Vic, stop him.
If any of the hash sticks to the pan, lift it up with the spatula...
We've got to keep him in check.
Now, I've been talking and talking and talking about this, and...
and serve with poached eggs, if desired.
Come on! Come on, Vic, come on!
Hurry!
One cup diced, cooked vegetables...
Let's... get another Michael out of the warehouse.
This time, make sure the engineering department
wipes that smile off his face.
Four tablespoons of finely chopped fresh parsley...
one quarter cup heavy cream,
salt,
and freshly ground, black pepper.
Blood?
Blood!
You kept me down there too long.
Come on with me, let's go.
Over The Hill, that's where he went, and we need him.
Well, let's catch up with him.
I don't know where it is.
If Blood knows, why didn't he tell you?
Vic!
Blood.
Vic!
Blood?
- Blood! - Hello, partner.
Blood, we made it back.
Who's your new tailor, Albert?
How long's it been since you ate?
I grabbed a lizard yesterday.
Maybe it was the day before. I can't seem to remember.
Well, we got to leg it into town and get you something to eat fast.
No, Fellini's taken everything over.
Slaughtered every solo who wouldn't join him.
The whole town's under their control.
You can't get any food there.
You can't even go back at all.
Okay, just take it easy.
I can't take it any other way.
I'm almost gone.
You'd better just leave and find someplace you can stay alive.
How about Over The Hill, Tiger?
I can't make it the way I am now.
But you might be able to.
He needs food and he needs medicine.
We've got to get it fast, 'cause we can't make it without him.
We're too late, darling.
There's nothing we can do about it now.
Vic, we've got to get out of here.
We're gonna be together. He'd want us to be together.
Now, I love you.
If you love me, you'll come on, too.
You haven't eaten a bite.
I'm not hungry.
I really appreciate this.
Well, let's press on.
Now, where were you?
Oh, yes, in the hospital.
Oh, Blood, come on.
You know, if they'd just let you have your way with the blushing brides
instead of hooking you up to a machine,
you'd probably never come back up!
You sure you had enough to eat?
Oh, yes.
- I'm satiated. - What?
Nothing, I said I'm full, but after we walk all day,
you'll probably have to cook up what's left.
She said she loved me.
Oh, hell, it wasn't my fault
she picked me to get all wet-brained over.
Well, I'd say she certainly had marvelous judgment, Albert,
If not particularly good taste!
Particularly good!